Play Along, But Be Wary.

One of the things that I've noticed that affects people when they have to deal with the Ministry is "depression". Most of this comes from the extreme stress that the Ministry inflicts on a family. I've found some instances of not having interest in the things that I usually have interest in (namely photography - I have no interest in continuing and that's a dangerous situation in that it is the only other possible method of gaining income (at least for me). All I seem to be interested in is making sure that my family is reunited. In essence, I've sacrificed my financial future for the children. The only thing that I can do is hope that my sacrifice will bear fruit in the success of my children. Not that I wish to benefit from my children's success, but I wish nothing other than they have an easier life than I have had.

Some marriages (if they are already on the rocks) will not survive. The stress of having a child removed will inevitably eat at the family foundation and it is only a strong marriage that can survive that kind of onslaught. The only way to survive is to link up as a family and form a united front against all attempts to divide and conquer.

With Infant Development helping out with Jamie and with Storm, I'm sure that they will develop normally. We have a three month court supervision order on Storm, and hopefully they will find that she is developing normally to the point where she doesn't need to be supervised any longer. We are working on finding out what is wrong with Jamie and hopefully we are to be informed of that in the near future with Sunny Hill Children's Hospital.

The visits have been moved (at our insistence) to a place more suitable to us to facilitate getting there quickly. We have also been allowed to photograph Jamie however we have not been allowed to tape the meeting. The best thing is to interact with the child and not mention anything outside of the child's progress.

Jamie and Storm, as siblings separated by circumstance, have been interacting with each other and playing. Jamie still doesn't know what to make of Storm and Storm doesn't know what to make of Jamie. I see that occasionally with Storm, the little green-eyed monster of envy crops up, "Who are you...and why are you monopolizing my Daddy." We just try to spread our affections to the both of them equally.

I will play with the MCFD's demands, but I will not hesitate to bite back if they pull a fast one. I'm not going to roll over if they try to pull one of their tricks. They will do what we require: and that is two things: #1. They will facilitate finding out what is wrong with Jamie and find a way to treat him and #2. Once we are able to manage taking care of Jamie, they will get the hell out and stay out of our family. That is the only solution that wil be acceptable to us. Get Legal-Aid if you can't afford to pay a lawyer to fight. And find out from the lawyer if MCFD's demands are reasonable. If they are, take steps to meet them. You must have the high-ground in any fight with MCFD. Make sure that they don't have any way of throwing dirt at you from above. Do what you have to do to secure the "high ground".

Proof that Storm Is Gaining Weight.

This is the height and weight measurements for Storm. Her height is within the 3rd percentile which is normal since she is part Asian and her parents aren't that tall to begin with.

On Monday, the MCFD social worker (S and a witness - another social worker) came by to see the house, and to see Storm. They saw with their own eyes that the place was clean and tidy and Storm was growing well. The meeting was tape recorded under BC PIPA.

On Tuesday, Storm went and got her vaccinations. She hasn't been feeling well and has been running a slight temp. And we have been monitoring that. There is no adverse reaction to the vaccination. When we went to the Public Health office, we weighed and measured her and she is within the 85th percentile in "height and weight combined" and above the 50th percentile in terms of weight and the 3rd percentile in height. The thing is that she's not very tall due to the fact that my baby girl is born to two parents who aren't very tall to begin with. Her mother is 4' 10", I'm 5'7". So she won't be very big maybe a few inches taller than her mother.

Overall, she is doing very well and combined, she is roughly in the 85th percentile which means that she is doing very well. If the MCFD decides to tell me that I am "neglectful" of my daughter. They will have a lawsuit launched against them for slander.

Stress: A Useful MCFD Tool to Break Up Families

This has been one hell of a week. My baby girl is under fire from MCFD. In the space of 4 months, I have put her over the 50th percentile by putting her on a high-fat diet and she is well out of danger, yet, they want to pursue a court supervision order (based on nutritional neglect????). The court date is Thursday for Jamie, next Thursday for Storm. Dr. S. Ross and Dr. H. Reysner are saying that they no longer need to monitor her because she is in normal development mode. I've also gotten IDP involved personally in order to make sure that her speech and social development is not missed as well.

So far the MCFD has done nothing with Jamie, no pushing for testing, just happily go merrily along their way. And they're saying that I'm a bad father. BULLSHIT! I'd like to take the opportunity to tell SZ to go jump off a cliff. I'm going to be logging every interaction from now on with the MCFD and I know I will catch them in a lie.

I've been also checking my blood pressure for the past few days regularly with the purchase of a blood pressure cuff digital monitor . The last four measurements have been S/D/P, 134/99/74, 142/90/79, 127/91/70, and 115/89/65. This puts me squarely into hypertension. The stress that MCFD inflicts can be monitored by taking your blood pressure after calls, visits and meetings. There should be a sharp spike into Stage 1 hypertension. They cannot say with irrefutable medical proof that they do not intend to cause stress in families. Enough stress and families can crack both mentally and physically. And that is their aim. "Inflict enough stress, then use that as an excuse to break up a family". I fully intend to bring them to account.

MCFD has to be made to pay for what they are doing to British Columbia families.

MCFD Harassment - Lost Wages

As a result of all the MCFD harassment, my wife has lost lost over $100.00 in pay from having to take time off work in the past week and a half in order to cope with the stress, and that's not counting all the times that she's had to take off during the course of our interaction with MCFD. There has to be a way of making MCFD accountable for the stress that they put on families and the lost wages incurred from that stress. It is almost as if we are being forced out of making a living. It's no joke when the morbid humor of MCFD involvement in families is the saying: "Your kids or your life."

No matter how understanding an employer can be and my wife's employer is probably one of the most understanding employers around; there does come a time when missed work due to stress becomes a determining factor in whether to promote an employee or retain their services. This type of harassment from the MCFD has to stop.

The only way that this BS will stop is if we make it too costly for the MCFD to operate. That is the first step in taking this travesty of child protection down. If the parents sue for lost wages due to MCFD demands and harassment, of which the parents have to keep documentation. Recordings of calls will help in determining the exact harassing nature of the call and how it was presented. Any psychologist will be able to determine the threatening nature of the call no matter what stress-allaying words are used. Any parent should be able to explain the "under-attack" reaction felt at the time.

It is only when enough parents who are under attack from MCFD band together and fight back, will the wholesale tearing apart of families stop.

Storm is underweight? BULLSHIT!!!

Dr. Ross diagnosed Storm as failure to thrive, however it was nutrition based, and that was quickly remedied by a high-fat diet recommended by her pediatrician, Dr. H. Reysner, which we have been religiously following through and Storm is now between the 10th to 25th percentile in weight gain. Now the MCFD is trying to say that due to our past history with Jamie who is autistic though nobody in the MCFD has gotten off their fat asses to try to take care of getting help for him, that we are detached parents and that Storm is under scrutiny for FTT. Would she be 24.9 pounds three months before her 2nd birthday if she was underweight still?

January 16, 2012 assessment for weight.


April 18, 2012 assessment for weight; Storm is coming along nicely and Dr. Reysner feels that it is no longer necessary to keep monitoring her as long as she gets a consistent hi-fat diet regularly.

MCFD are also saying that we are not doing everything that we can for Storm, yet, I was the one who insisted and referred Storm to IDP directly. They will be held accountable, and I will be talking to the judge in his private chambers without MCFD interference. I will insist on that.

On top of that, they are trying to say that I have no initiative to get things accomplished. I am not going to jump through their hoops and get screwed. Storm is going into a daycare that I feel comfortable with, and not just any daycare that they try to shove her into. And if they try to push this daycare issue through the Court Supervision Order, just so that they can get more dirt on me, they will be sorry that they tangled with me. I have documentation stating the reasons behind why I haven't found a daycare yet, (Fraser Valley Health complaints on daycares listed in the list provided by Options) and there is a letter to that effect that I have faxed to Jasmine Barr. If that letter is also not in their file, I will demand that Team Leader Sheila Zeiner and Jasmine Barr be subpoenaed into court for perjury.

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT; FIGHT TO WIN!!!

With the MCFD, you cannot step wrong. They will bully you and try to pass that off as "what's best for the child". You cannot back down from their bully-tactics. You are in the "fight of your life". Like wolves to a kill, they know when they see weakness, that it's the prime time to attack. NEVER let them see you weak. Always present a strong face to the social worker. I have been at times hostile, but never weak. They know that if they face me, they face a wall. Only you know how to take care of your kids. Your kids will never bond to a foster parent. They remember you. I see it every time with Jamie, when he reaches up and wraps his arms around my neck. He calls my mother "MA" because he hasn't managed to get the hang of saying "Gramma".

Never let them bully you into not getting a lawyer. And make damned sure that the lawyer is not going to roll over and take it up the ass from MCFD! I am quite blunt when I talk to a lawyer. I'm pinning him to the wall with my question "Are you going to fight for my family or are you going to roll over for MCFD? Because when I get into court, I don't want to see anything other than we're going to fight! Because if you roll over and take it up the ass from MCFD, I'm going to sue your ass for legal malpractice." Don't hesitate to ask that question. And don't let them willy-wash their way out of answering. Whether they are Legal-Aid or whether they are paid for with your own hard-earned cash, they are supposed to play for your side, not acquiesce to the demands of MCFD.

Above all, present the best possible picture to the MCFD. If they want your house clean. CLEAN YOUR HOUSE!!! From top to bottom, make sure that they can't find a single thing to complain about. IF you are on drugs, GET CLEAN! Break your ties with those who use. IF you drink get into AA. If you are clean and sober, they can't do anything to you. If you care about your kids, GET CLEAN!!! Don't let MCFD win. Make damned sure that you present the best possible image. You might feel destroyed inside, but don't let the bastards grind you so that you don't care anymore. They've been trying to do that to me for the past two years. I'm not going to let them win.

Also, record every single thing they say. Whether it's a telephone call, whether it's a face-to-face meeting, if it is anything written, get photocopies and store a copy away in your file cabinet. Be organized. Make sure you have all your necessary court papers and MCFD documentation and communiques together in one easy-to-reach spot.

Under the Personal Information Protection Act (BC), at least one party in a phone call has to be aware of the recording taking place (that is YOU!). The MCFD will try to discourage taping and will even go to the point of stopping the meeting in order to bully you into not taping. You have your rights under PIPA(BC). Stand your ground. Be afraid, but be smart. Don't let them bully you into giving up your rights to hold them accountable for their actions.

You all have the ability to get your kids back from MCFD kidnapping. What it does mean is making tough choices. Sometimes it may mean getting out of your comfort zone. I will fight until my last dying breath. MCFD will NOT WIN!

I Miss You, Jamie, So Much...

Let this be a warning to all those who try to cross this Dad. He is pissed off and looking for blood.

I promised my son when he was born, that I would never let anyone hurt him and I have failed. I failed in my duty as a father. I suppose I was supposed to not grieve my father's passing, stick it behind me and not have to deal with it. I blame myself for my father's death (I was the one who had to decide to turn the life-support off - after his heart-attack (my mother couldn't do it, she was too distraught and left the decision up to me - there was no brain activity, all that was left was a body which couldn't exist without life-support) and I blame myself for that every single day), and I blame myself for what has happened with Jamie. And I've sworn to never let Storm be treated that way or to ever let the Ministry get their hands on her. They will do so over my dead body riddled with bullets from RCMP guns.

My wife and Jamie - ©FalconRose Photography, all rights reserved - photo taken by me

MCFD Tactic - Call and Harass.

Evidently. S (our social worker) called back just as my wife was getting ready to head out to take Storm (our daughter) to the pediatrician for her monthly checkup (to monitor her weight). She kept her on the phone for damned near close to half an hour. In that time, I was watching the clock, watching it get closer and closer to the appointment time. My wife walked up to the King George and evidently she was still at King George Skytrain Station at 10:08 when she called me. So my wife ends up being late for the pediatrician appointment and as far as I'm concerned, the social worker is to blame on this one. I will be logging this down and going for the jugular if they try to pin this down as my wife's fault.

I warned the social worker, loudly, in the background, that I'm logging this down that she delayed my wife getting out of the house for the appointment and that if my wife is late for the appointment, then I'm going to make sure that our lawyer hears about this.

Waiting to hear what the pediatrician says about Storm's progress weight-wise. Heather's OB-GYN, Dr. S. Ross was really pleased with her weight progress on Monday.

Update: Dr. H. Reysner - our pediatrician for Storm is glowing about Storm's weight gain and that she is well on her way to being of normal weight with the feedings that we have been giving her.

Our Fight To Get Our Son Back And To Keep Our Daughter

This blog is going out to tell our story of our two year fight with MCFD, the apprehension of our three year old autistic (we believe that he is on the autism spectrum, it's just hell to try to get him diagnosed so that he can get help) son and the fight to keep our daughter (she is still with us and we are fighting to keep her), who is now under the eye of the MCFD mainly because she was underweight, but is now eating well and is now low-weight than average, but in the 10th to 25th percentile for her age well within the safety. I want this to be a record of how we have struggled with MCFD and a testament that MCFD is not your friend. Whether young or middle-aged, sober or have had a problem past with addictions, are an intact family unit or a broken family, it does not matter; MCFD will TAKE YOUR CHILD!!! And drum up whatever they want to based on information that you give them.

The whole fight with MCFD is over the fact that I want my daughter safe (which is in my arms and at home) and the MCFD is looking at $$$$$$ signs for placing my children with a foster family. I'm not going to allow that, and I will fight it to my last dying breath. And I mean that literally, not figuratively. They will have to pry my daughter out of my cold dying hands after the RCMP has riddled my body full of holes.

They took Jamie (my autistic son), placed my son in a home clear across the way in Langley, at the very edge of the bus route, making it impossible for us with no vehicle to get out there. The buses run once every hour, making it impossible for me to go out to see my son on the weekday. It had to be the weekend and I ended up sick with a lung infection (thanks to acid reflux going into my lungs in December of 2010) for the first quarter of 2011 which required three rounds of antibiotics to kill off. Hence I missed a whole number of weekend visits which counted against me. They twisted that to mean that I didn't care about my son.

In January 2011, the British Columbia Ministry of Children and Family Development took Jamie because he was a FTT (failure to thrive). It later turns out that he may be on the autism spectrum. I suspect that I also have Adult ADHD (Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) which manifests itself in inattention to detail and inability to see something without it being pointed out to me. In this case, I may have missed crucial details relating to his development. On top of that. During the course of 2009-2010, I was grieving the loss of my father (a sudden heart attack which left me with the decision to have to turn off his life-support which my mother couldn't do; the decision fell to me) with whom I had been rather close to. With all that and having Jamie turn out to be more than I had expected with special needs, it was emotional and mental overload.

Now the Ministry calls me a risk to my children (to Jamie) and are looking for ways in which to wrestle the other three children (who are normal developmentally) out of my grasp. They may not have come out and said it, however I suspect that they are working on that. I may sound paranoid, but there is a saying: "Just because you sound paranoid, doesn't mean that they aren't doing something to you."

My daughter was underweight at the time the MCFD set their sights on her. She was throwing up her food when she ate, and I didn't know how to help her. She finally stopped this throwing up when I started giving her milk at the same time as her feeding. This throwing up business caused her to be underweight by 5 pounds at her 1 year checkup. After a regimen of strict eating and giving her a high-fat diet, she is now right smack between the 10th and 25th percentile, well out of the danger zone. Yet MCFD has their eyes on her and sees her as a potential money mill. They took my autistic son. I'll be damned if they take my daughter too.

Consequently, I now have high-blood pressure spikes whenever BC MCFD calls me or my wife. My last measurement for my blood pressure pegged me at 149 over 96, well into the red-line warning area. They are compounding this untenable situation by increasing the stress-load. What they want me to do is "crack under pressure". And I love my children too damned much to give those assholes the satisfaction of seeing me crack. I was diagnosed with depression (from an independent psychiatrist - not from one of the MCFD hacks) as well as "chronic anxiety". I suspect I have Adult ADHD, however I'm going to have trouble trying to get that diagnosed. I have never used drugs, nor have I ever had problems with alcohol, nor am I abusive. If I didn't have ADHD, I would have gone on to get a Bachelor's or Master's degree in a field of study that is well-paying.

My wife is working, I am the primary caregiver at home, plus I try to run a wildlife photography business from home because that is what I love to do. Yet society thinks that "hey, he doesn't toe the societal line, let's persecute him". What money that doesn't go into helping my children, goes to fund the business get off the ground.

My son is a casualty of the MCFD's tactics of "destroying families" instead of helping them. I will be monitoring the care of my son. And I will be taking photographs of my son every single time I see him, consequences be damned. When my son was in my mother's care during the time that his foster-mother was in the hospital, my son improved dramatically. I am going to make sure that I see that he doesn't regress when back in the foster-mother's care. If that does, the shit is going to hit the fan.

Let this photograph be my final testament to the travesty that is British Columbia's child protection agency.